Settling In and Saying Goodbye

We recently moved into a house in a new city a few miles away from our former home. And while it was hard to leave the familiar surroundings, it has been so easy to enjoy our new space. The kids have a yard to play in. We have our own walls. There are no worries about how loud Willow screams, except for our ears, or the kids running around and jumping inside. There is no coin op washer that may or may not be being used for 6 hours straight and I don't have to lug baskets of laundry up and down a rickety set of stairs. But there is no courtyard here. There is no next door neighbor to keep an eye on your kid while you run to the store real quick or from whom to borrow some organic milk and eggs. It is an adjustment going from such intimate and intense community, where everyone knows your comings and goings, helps parent your children, can tell just by your facial expressions if you're having a good day or a bad one to a more private and quiet life within your own walls. We have definitely been grateful for the years of community that have taught us how to be better neighbors, friends, believers and human beings. But we are equally grateful for a respite of sorts. Some time to be reclusive. Some time to not answer questions or deal with other people's kids. Time for our kids to play outside, just the two of them. Time for us to listen to music as loud as we want. Time to come home and just relax together as a family. Yet, the quiet can be eery. The kids get bored. We get bored. So there are play dates, and trips to the park and walks around our nice, new little town. All things to help fill that need for community that is missing when you live "alone". It has definitely been an adjustment for all of us. The kids miss their friends. We miss our friends too. Saying goodbye to those whom we have grown to care about so deeply, is hard no matter if the move is down the road or hundreds or miles away. Because no matter what, distance means more work, more intentionality. But the relationships that have been developed in our community experience are not ones that will quickly fade. They are relationships that changed us, challenged us and made us better people. So we will be intentional. But it doesn't make saying good bye any easier. And no matter how many times we have had to do this over the last 7 years here, it never gets any easier.

But for now we are slowing getting used to this new set up, finding a balance between family and community, alone and together, reclusive and hospitable. I imagine by the time we really discover how to achieve that balance, it will be time to move on to something else. But I guess it's more about the journey, learning along the way. And I hope that we will all come away better and wiser than when we arrived.